Monday, October 15, 2012

Waffle House

My long-time dream came true the other day; I got to eat at Waffle House. We've all driven past that caps-lock, highlighter yellow sign a million times on weird family car trips that last hours, but have you ever stopped at one? And have you stopped at one in Maryland on a bleak, rainy Sunday? This is middle America at its finest. 

We waited about 25 minutes on a Sunday morning for a coveted booth right next to the bathroom. Half of my family was thrilled to be there (including myself) and the other half was quickly slipping into a mood of deep depression and disgust. I'll let you decode. To top it all off, I felt like a turd snapping photos in Waffle House. Seriously. I think people thought I was an alien. But I do this all for you. 
This shit is good. I went for the Texas Sandwich with sausage egg and cheese. It arrived on a plate with two pathetic pickles and a packet of mayo. What more could you need? The sandwich was so melty and just a little greasy. There was nothing I would change. This is what it means to be American: if you want your eggs with sausage and cheese on thick buttered toast, by all means, it's yours.
I commandeered mom's hashbrowns that came with her eggs. I made her get them smothered, covered and peppered, which means onions, cheese and jalapenos. Notice below the glorious, one slice of kraft single placed crookedly on top of the browns. It's cheap here and you get what you pay for. Ed got a waffle and sausage, up above, and he also purchased one of the coffee mugs for a fiver. I told him I could get it for him for free, no problem, but he prefers honesty. (you better watch me in the bar)
I'd totally roll up to Waffle House again. It's great for a greasy breakfast on a day when you don't want to change out of your pajamas, a day where you don't care about your health or a day when you just want to embrace being American. (like maybe once a month.)

Waffle House: 261 Belle Hill Rd. Elkton, MD 21921. (410) 620-5630


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